If you manage stress, instead of letting stress manage you, a balanced life is possible. IIPM Research reveals how stress is controllable if you have the right tools. By
Nitin Ralhan, IIPM, Ahmedabad"

Everything is in your mind, if you think you can you are right, if you think you can’t you are right.” Thus the perception in your mind makes the actual difference as someone has very correctly stated, “Battles are won and lost in the minds first”. Throughout your life you are going to undergo a series of good and bad events. For every stressful situation you will face, there are going to be two approaches – the positive approach which will ensure you a brighter, stress free and prosperous future or the negative approach which will make you weak and depressed. The idea of this programme called “The Brighter Path” is to view and adopt the positive approach and neglect the negative one so that you start dominating the stressful situations instead of succumbing to them. Research based facts and figures regarding the consequences of stress (The facts are based on research in England by the National Institute for Mental Health in England – NIMHE): The latest research suggests that about one in four people experience mental distress at any one time. The most common problems are anxiety and depression. About 630,000 adults are in contact with specialist mental health services and over 95 per cent of people in touch with services live in the community. More women than men experience mental distress. About one in four women and more than one in ten men seek help for depression. However, the number of men who experience mental ill health is increasing. Men are three times more likely than women to have alcohol dependence and twice as likely to be dependent on drugs. Over 91 million working days are lost to mental ill health every year. Three in 10 employees have a mental health problem in any one year, mainly depressive and anxiety disorders. More than one in 10 people are likely to have a ‘disabling anxiety disorder’ at some stage in their life. Mental health problems are common among young people. It has been estimated that up to 25 per cent of children and young people under the age of 16 have a diagnosable mental health problem. These problems include depression, deliberate self-harm, eating disorders and substance misuse. It is estimated that between 10 per cent and 20 per cent of children have a problem that is severe enough to require help. More Interesting statistics

• up to 5 million suffer with agoraphobia
• up to 3 million suffer with social phobias
• up to 5 million suffer with specific phobias
• up to 2 million suffer with obsessive/ compulsive disorders
• Up to 4 million are on tranquilizers. blurb

Now that we know so much about stress as a subject, the big question is how do we combat or eliminate stress from life?

COMBATING STRESSFUL SITUATIONS & BUSTING STRESS LEVELS

Psychological Stress: Psychological stress is caused by either fear of failing, feeling of guilt or stress caused by the strength of the opponent.
Situation 1: Stress caused by fear of failing.
Stress builder: I think I will fail.
Stress buster: Well, the first thing you should realise is that failure has an indirect relation with preparation, which means the more prepared you are, the lesser will be the chances of failure and vice versa. Therefore, in any sphere of life have a goal in mind and spend time on preparation to achieve that goal. If you are not prepared then expecting a good result is illogical. In a situation where you are not well prepared, follow the following steps:
Never keep an irrational expectation of succeeding because you know that you have not put in the desired level of effort.
Face the situation, with whatever preparation levels you have. If you succeed, credit goes to your smart moves (last minute preparation of key matters) and luck. Identify the reasons for your failure and you will never get stressed.
However, sometimes in spite of being well prepared you might have an illusion that you will fail: In such a scenario talk to yourself “I have given my best shot in preparations and unless I am through with the actual situation of test, I cannot jump to unnecessary conclusions. (It does work, try doing it)”.

Situation 2: Stress caused by feeling of guilt: example, you lied to your friend, someone else suffered because of your negligence etc.
Stress builder: I lied to my best friend, I am feeling disgusted.
Stress buster: If you feel disgusted because you lied to your friend it shows that you are a person of strong character and integrity. Think about the reason for misleading your friend. If it is for a good cause you need not think over it again because by lying you avoided a worst possible scenario. Remember, in Mahabharata, Lord Krishna himself misled others on few occasions but he was convinced that he was doing the right things because he knew that it was for a good cause. However, if you still fail to convince yourself regarding your act, go and confess to the concerned person. If he forgives you, your job is done and if he doesn’t you still did your duty and the feeling of guilt will automatically vanish. Remember we all make mistakes, at times we escape punishments, at times we face punishments but confessions do get us exemption from stressful feeling of guilt.

Situation 3: Stress caused by the strength of the opponent.
Stress builder: My opponent is powerful, I am weaker, I will definitely loose!
Stress buster: Any kind of competition is a part of life. When it comes to competition, “I will give my best you give your best and let the best person in that particular situation win. If I am prone to errors so is my opponent, so I need not unnecessary pressurise myself”. Remember Sachin Tendulkar is the world’s best batsman but even he is not the top scorer in each and every cricket tournament.

JOB RELATED STRESS

Situation 1: Too much work.

Stress builder: Oh my god I am over loaded, I just cannot handle this work! I will never finish this project on time.
Stress buster: Work is worship, the class of a person is evaluated from the quality of his work. If I don’t do it someone else will do the job and take the credit. If I stay focused and take it one step at a time, I will make steady progress. I will divide the entire work in a chronological order of steps, attach deadlines to every step, keep feasible margins for alterations of deadlines (only if the situation allows) and if required I will delegate work wherever possible. Situation 2: Stress caused due to targets.

Stress builder: These targets are over ambitious, I just cannot achieve them.
Stress buster: Achievement of targets will make me an idol, if others can why can’t I? If the targets are over ambitious, others would also not be able to achieve them. Under all circumstances I am going to lift my performance and make it better than my past performance. This way even if I do not achieve the overambitious targets others will still appreciate me.
Situation 3: Having to perform beyond your experience and perceived abilities.
Stress builder: I cannot perform this job because I lack the experience.
Stress buster: My boss has given me the job because he thinks that I am the best person to handle this particular job. I will use all my ability, skills and knowledge to produce results, experience will not come only by observing seniors performing the job, it will come by taking charge of the job. So I will handle it and wherever I will have doubts I will consult my seniors and colleagues.
Situation 4: Indecent behavior by your boss.
Stress builder: I wished my boss and he never replied, he is upset with me.
Stress buster: My boss has some personal tension, may be he is not in the mood to speak to anyone.
Situation 5: Demands from clients.
Stress builder: This client is too demanding I am absolutely irritated.
Stress buster: My client is where my money comes from. In the present competitive scenario if I want to retain him then just satisfactory work is not enough I have to delight him with my work.
Situation 6: Lack of recognition.
Stress builder: I work with complete dedication, yet others get the credit and I do not.
Stress Buster: When it comes to quantification of performance during performance appraisal, my work will speak for itself and others will be forced to recognise and appreciate me.

CAREER RELATED STRESS

Situation 1: No promotions.
Stress builder: I think I will never get promoted.
Stress buster: Things might have got delayed but if my performance is consistent others would be forced to promote me, so under any circumstances I will not get frustrated because even if I don’t get
promoted in this company, my good track record will help me get a better position in some other organisation.
Situation 2: Lack of clear cut plan for career development.
Stress builder: I don’t know where my career is heading, I am absolutely confused.
Stress buster: In this situation, you should give time to yourself. Ask yourself – what is my goal? Will I be able to achieve my goals following the current path or do I need to change my act? If you still fail to solve the puzzle, career counseling is the next best option.

NUTRITIONAL STRESS

Includes stress caused by improper diet:

The solution to this kind of stress is a complete diet chart for the entire week along with just half an hour of exercise everyday. The best exercises are: jogging, skipping, stretching exercises, stomach exercises, push ups, pull ups and breathing exercises.

STRESS CAUSED BY PERSONAL AND FAMILY PROBLEMS

Situation 1: Financial Problems
Stress builder: I don’t have any source
of income; I don’t know what God has in store for me.
Stress buster: In such a situation think how much effort you have really made to generate any income. For example: To how many companies have I actually applied, why am I being rejected in nterviews? Find out the weaknesses within your self and work over them, instead of thinking negatively. Incase you are waiting for some bigger opportunity, have faith in your decision making. But if you feel that you have waited for too long, start working to support yourself with your eyes set on the bigger opportunity. Remember, the strength of a man is judged from his resilience and not from his success.
Situation 1: Financial Problems
Stress builder: Will I ever be able to buy a car or a house?
Stress buster: I will prepare my budgets and come what may, will stick to them. I will ensure that I keep a record of my income, expenditures and savings. I will decide on the amount I am going to save
per month and then plan how I can increase my income levels. To control my expenditure, I will prepare a list of most preferred expenses (necessities) and follow that list.
Situation 2: Relationship Problems
Stress builder: I just cannot adjust with my spouse I think he/she tries to dominate me.
Stress buster: We are life partners but we are two different persons so obviously we have different perceptions. Only we can solve our problems, outsiders cannot. We just need to give each other more time, attention and realise what we expect from each other. We need to decide certain do’s and don’ts and the misunderstanding will automatically vanish.

(Prof. Nitin Ralhan is a faculty at Indian Institute of Planning and Management, Ahmedabad)